Mary: You know, I can’t believe how flaky that sole was.
Dick: You know what I can’t believe? That you’ve never been pregnant.
Dick: Considering how many gentleman callers you’ve had. It’s kind of a miracle.
Mary: Dick, I can’t have children.
Dick: Oh Mary, why not?
Mary: Because I hate them.
Mary the Slut forever!!
This was really sweet. And it made me feel a lot of feels. And I love them all so mu-hu-huuuchh.
LET ME LOVE YOU.
This is still my favorite thing forever. FOREVER.
Garrett, Jane, and Chevy watch Dan in a sketch from backstage.
I REMEMBER THIS.
The Women of Weekend Update
Am I having a coronary right now or were these gals the ONLY women ever to officially be on Weekend Update? Goddamn.
Mary: Why are you going to the conference?
Dick: Oh they’re giving me some kind of academic award, you know, they hand these things out like candy mints. But once we get that out of the way, the two of us get to experience the magic that is Chicago.
Mary: Well, once again something wonderful in my life has been turned into a giant crapfest.